Sparking the Creativity, Love, and Playfulness of the Human Spirit

Posts tagged ‘feelings’

Happy Trails of Self-Esteem

Eleanor Roosevelt. What a gal! Not just the wife of Franklin D., but a great thinker and wise woman in her own right. What follows are a few of her gems.

“No one can make you feel inferior without your permission.” 

Well, that pretty well sums it up. A healthy sense of self-respect or self-esteem will serve as a sounding board for others’  perceptions of you. If they’re treating you with respect, then you are in  agreement and can offer the same in return. If they are not, there are a  few options:

  • A) Say, “Thank you for your opinion,” and walk away.
  • B) Say “If I have said or done something that is causing you to “diss” me, I apologize. However I feel obligated to advise you that unless or until  you are able to alter either your perception or attitude, I feel any further discussion on the subject would be fruitless.”

I prefer A myself.

“You wouldn’t worry so much about what others think of you if you realize how seldom they do” 

In other words, “Don’t worry, be happy.” A wonderful song by  Bobby McFerrin. I like to listen to it once in a while just to remind myself that in this swirling miasma of daily life, when someone perceives you in a less than positive light due to circumstances or the context in which you both find yourselves, it works to “consider the source.” They could be having a bad day or life and are using you as a shipping post for their personal frustrations. Then consider  whether  there might be some truth in their perspective, which offers ‘grist for the mill” of personal growth should you choose to use it. First empathy, then introspection. (more…)

Self-Esteem In Your Relationships

Self-Esteem In Your Relationships

The health and vitality and the level of emotional reward felt from our relationships a lot of times can be based upon the level of esteem or respect a person has for themselves. A person’s self-esteem can affect not only the harmony or health of a relationship but also the types of people a person would choose to relate to.

Trusting your Instincts

The dynamic of person-to-person relationships often times is a result of instinctual reactions a person may have about someone, the level of trust in that instinctual reaction and the behavior that results from that reaction.

The factor of poor or low self-esteem can cause a person who has an instinct to stay away from certain types of people because of a felt sense of a potential imbalance in a relationship or not being able to meet the expectations of the other person to undercut their natural instincts and engage in a relationship that is based on catering to another person’s needs or desires in order to maintain a false sense of peace. (more…)

What Does Self-Esteem Look Like?

I Heart Myself

Healthy self-esteem or healthy self-regard is a very sought-after quality. On some level we are aware of our innate and unique gifts in varying fields or relationships and wish we could better realize our potential or improve the level of happiness felt in our relationships. At times, our efforts to have productive careers or have affirming relationships are compromised by the attitudes about ourselves or life in general that we carry with us throughout the experiences of our day. Often, these self-sabotaging attitudes are the total of the emotional effects of pivotal events that have taken place previously in our lives. Some of these events left profound imprints on our personalities and behaviors, others had more slight impacts on us, but the sum of all of those events, both affirmations and slights, form a very firm sense of us, our limitations, but also our potential in some ways.

Hopefully, this entry will illustrate some not-so-common beliefs about the notion of healthy self-esteem and the deep-seated positive effects it can have both for your self as an individual and the person you are in your relationships and the affirming qualities they can have. (more…)

On Gratitude

Thank you.

Short for “I’m grateful that you ________, and I want you to know it makes me feel good.”

It comes in many forms: a smile, a nod, a tip of the hat, and in most, if not all, languages.
I use it in a truly heartfelt way when tech support has walked me through a particularly enigmatic problem with my computer. Occasionally, words cannot express adequately what I’m feeling at those moments, and I begin to sputter half sentences in my search for exactly the right phrase and end up just saying “Thank you,” several times.

Gratitude.

Once in a while something goes unexpectedly right in my efforts to get through the day and I take a moment to look up and say “Thanks” to the powers that be. Recently I’ve quit watching the news and reading the paper. I finally learned that media industry complex is dedicated to creating controversy, to keep us all stressed enough to buy something that will help us feel better. No thanks. (more…)

Hints for Self-Awareness

Identifying how you feel and what your want can be surprisingly difficult, especially if you (like me) have spent years listening to other’s needs and ignoring your own. So here are some hints to make this process easier:

In trying to identify how I feel, it has been very helpful for me to spend time looking at and listening to my actual physical sensations and where they are located in my body. For example, though I may not be well enough acquainted with my emotions to be able to say “I feel angry/happy/resentful,” I can often sense that my fists are clenched, or that I feel a lightness in my heart or a knot in my stomach.

I’ve also found that one easy way to determine what I want is to ask myself the question, “If someone tried to give me this, would I take it?” If I would, I can be pretty sure I want it, and vice versa. Unfortunately, the ability to see our wants clearly can still be clouded by guilt as well as by thoughts and feelings of inadequacy, which often show up in words like should, ought, and can’t. Whenever I hear myself saying words like that to myself, I find that it’s helpful to ask myself another question: “If I could do anything right now, without feelings of guilt or inadequacy, what would I do?”

Simple Meditation Techniques to Stumble Upon Peace

In this messy and chaotic life, human has become a highly stressed and disturbed. People are too busy in their professional life or in other activities; they are so busy that they don’t bother about themselves. They don’t have time for themselves. Human’s biggest strength is peace of mind as it gives him strength to think better and act intelligently, and human’s biggest foe is stress, he loses what he wants and becomes an ugly person, he loses sense of humanity, he becomes totally insane. For people with stressed life, should follow the art of meditation.

Here are few simple tips for meditation to gain peace of mind and walk forward towards quality and happy life.

Daily routine of meditation
Make meditation your daily routine. Involve this habit in your life. Make a suitable time, when you are completely free and no one is there to disturb you. Daily meditation helps you to learn self-control and be disciplined.

Stretching before meditation
You should perform some stretching exercises before you start up with the mediation. Stretching helps you to feel relaxed and promoted flexibility. Stretching program releases tension from tendons and muscles. The stretching exercise helps to concentrate better.

Candle gives light
One of the best techniques of meditation is by using candle. Keep a lightened candle and continuously gaze its inner flame (the red part of the flame). Try to concentrate on the flame. While you concentrate on the flame, you forget the world and for few seconds you are fully concentrated on the candle. This is called meditation. This enhances your concentration power and also gives peace to your mind. The state of total null or void is known as meditation. Your mind is free from worldly chaos and worries. It is free from the bad spirits. Daily practice will increase your mediation time and help to improve concentration. This would accelerate your mind activity and your will feel more energetic and happy.

Feel the nature
Feeling the cool breeze through you is also one kind of meditation, for a movement you forget the world and get immerse in a peaceful reservoir.

Focus your breath
Sit straight, close your eyes and breathe deeply. Remove all the thoughts from your mind. Just focus on your breath. This is one of the effective meditations. This meditation cleanses your system as you do deep breathing. Deep breathing removes all toxins through the air. It makes you feel fresh and increases your concentration power.

Sleeping is not Meditation
Don’t think that when you are sleeping, meditation process is on. Sleeping is a passive process, you are taking rest but your mind or inner conscience works in some or the other way, for example dreams. In meditation you are actually giving rest to your mind and this is very active process. In meditation you keep your mind focused to one point and this need extreme concentration level.

Place for meditation
Always be very particular while you choose your meditation place. It should be clean, quiet and calm. Best place for meditation is within nature, like garden or lawn.
Conclusion

Meditation should be your integral part of daily routine. It helps to release stress and make you more active. Always choose a clam place for meditation and fix your time. Daily meditation has wonder effects to for your health.

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About the author: Margaret is a blogger by profession. She loves writing on environment and technology. Beside this she is fond of books. She recently bought cool flash drives. These days she is busy in writing an article on right brain left brain test.

The Aikido of Emotion

The Energy of EMOTIONS, A Guide to Self- Knowledge

I find in my counseling practice that most people don’t want to experience pain, whether it is physical or emotional pain. So we tend to run from our painful emotions, and only want to experience happy and joyous ones. Therein lies the resistance to the experience of our emotions. But, by avoiding our emotional pain, bigger problems get created because the emotional energy has to go somewhere. Either it gets acted out in more serious ways, or we suppress it, and experience physical problems and/or addictions of various kinds. We also miss out on knowing ourselves at deeper levels of awareness because we are unaware that our emotions are the signals or signposts that point to the depths of who we are. Instead of respecting our emotions, we have been taught that emotions are irrational, frivolous, petty and meaningless. So you ask, what can we do?

I like to use a technique I call The Aikido of Emotion. The premise of the martial art form of Aikido is to practice yielding to the opponent instead of using your force against him/her. It is the practice of non-resistance. If we apply this philosophy to our emotions, which at times we might think of as our opponent, then what we want to practice is the art of non-resistance regarding our emotions.

So you ask, how does The Aikido of Emotion work? Imagine you are a vessel or container, and inside of you, you contain thoughts, feelings, and perceptions about your life situation or the events and experiences of your life. If who you are is the container of your thoughts and feelings, then you are not the thoughts and feelings that run through you, you just contain them. The thoughts, feelings, and sensations, are energies running through the vessel or container that you are.
I liken emotions to the weather. The sky is always present, like we are as the vessel. The sky is space that contains the sun, moon, planets, stars, etc. The weather comes in and goes out, changes and fluctuates all the time, and the sky contains the weather which is the content. Notice how thoughts, feelings and sensations come and go all the time. They are not steady or constant. So when we resist these energies that are trying to move through us, like the weather, the effect is that they get stuck. They cannot move through. Have you ever heard the saying, what you resist persists?

Here is an exercise for you. Sit in a comfortable position and close your eyes. Now breathe and let yourself notice your hands. Feel your hands with all your attention. What do you notice? I’ll bet you notice some feelings or sensations in your hands that you would not have been aware of had you not focused your attention there.

Now practice being the vessel or container. Sit again with your eyes closed and feel yourself as the container (empty space or a hollow tube). Now as the container, notice what is present in your experience. Notice the thoughts that are rising and falling in the mind. What do you notice in the body? What sensations or feelings are present? Focus your awareness and attention on a physical sensation or feeling in the body. Notice how it feels. Allow yourself to feel it completely, and give it permission to be there without any resistance or judgment. Allow yourself as the container to expand to include whatever the experience is in your awareness, and allow it to be there. What is happening in your experience?

Most people notice some kind of a shift in the intensity or quality of the content, or what is being contained. With practice, it will get easier and easier to contain more intense content such as anger or rage. My clients are always surprised to find that even an emotion as intense as rage can be contained and not acted on. So another way to say it is, who you are is the context (the sky) and the thoughts, feelings and sensations are the content (the weather).

We have been culturally biased against our emotions for thousands of years. Emotions tend to be defined as ‘feminine’ which is not true since both males and females have feelings and emotions. Emotional content cannot be controlled as the weather cannot be controlled. So in order to be in harmony with our true Selves, we need to learn to work with our emotions, so we can deepen our awareness and experience of who we truly are. Some say emotions are the doorway to the soul, which I have found to be a true statement.
Emotions themselves are not the truth. Emotions are a response to the deeper truths within us. They show us things that are hidden, or under the surface as in the sub-conscious. They point to our unattended needs, wounds, thwarted desires and passions that are yearning and sometimes screaming to be seen and quenched. Emotions reflect our soul’s issues in our heart of hearts. If we listen and follow the reflection to the source, we can learn who we are.

I see the practice of The Aikido of Emotion as a spiritual practice that deepens our awareness of inner truth. Jesus, and many saints and sages over time have professed, “Know thy self.” Have fun getting to know your true Self. I wish for you the best that life has to offer!

If you’d like to experience The Aikido of Emotion first-hand, I’ll be presenting it at The Human Potential Center this coming Wednesday evening. Here’s the link. Hope you can attend!

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