As uncomfortable as being ‘stuck’ or feeling in a rut or perhaps even feeling mildly depressed can feel, the feeling of ‘stuck-ness’ and the resistence to happiness or feeling at ease can serve as motivation to begin new activities or adopt new attitudes about life and people that can help you to feel happier.
Some people refer to old patterns of thought or old attitudes which no longer offer relief as the mind playing ‘old tapes’. While these old tapes are familiar and possibly comforting in some ways, just like maps can grow outdated, and not describe in detail the size and actual locations of cities and countries, so too can these ‘old tapes’ become limited in their ability to lead your thoughts and behaviors to give you a sense of peace and happiness.
So, how do I get ‘un-stuck’ if I feel ‘stuck’?
Feeling stuck seems like it is definitely a common event that happens to many, many people at different times throughout their lives. The stuck-ness could be a sign that you have grown to your limit at the moment and just need a shift in attitude or new techniques to approach the area in your life that you are struggling in.
Finding new attitudes or coping strategies can be a trying and emotionally taxing process. If you can somehow take an attitude that allows you to ‘try out’ different behaviors and strategies almost like how a scientist would attempt many experiments to discover a new medicine or use of technology. It’s hard to adopt an outlook that prompts you to try and try, especially when you’re already feeling a lack of motivation. So be as patient with yourself as you can be and try out new and probably challenging attitudes and outlooks relative to the amount of energy that you have. Changing your outlook may be work, but it ought not lead to exhaustion and stress for you.
Feeling ‘stuck’ can be a form of ‘burnout’. So, if feelings of stress are accompaning your feelings of stuck-ness, it may be wise to scale-back your responsibilities or commitments until you feel your livliness returning.
If you do some self-examination and find that your place of business or your line of work is the cause of your feeling down and heavy emotionally, then maybe it might be good to do some dreaming and think of another place of work or career-path that would allow your natural creativity or zeal for your work flow through you.
If your self-examination informs you that a relationship, romantic or platonic, is the cause, then maybe carve out some time to have as honest of a conversation with the other person so that you can communicate your needs in a welcoming and respectful way. If the person you are planning to communicate with cares about you, they would welcome the fresh and personal information about how they can better care for your needs.
Your self-examination might lead you to accept that your own attitudes about life and your reality are causing you to not feel as fulfilled as you would like to be. If that is the case, then engage those deep feelings and look at where they come from. Are the feelings based upon personal experience or values passed on from a parent or old friend or religion, or from a place of fear? Be patient with yourself, but allow those old attitudes to be challenged by your present-day reality and not be influenced by the reality of your past.
The Human Potential Center’s Bob McGarey is offering a workshop titled, “Getting Un-Stuck”. The workshop takes place on May 19th and if you are interested, please visit the website of The Human Potential Center at http://www.humanpotentialcenter.org/Calendars/May12Descriptions.html#GettingUnStuck19 or call The Human Potential Center at 512-441-8988.