What is self-esteem? There are a few different theories.
A woman at the Video Discussion the other night, said that when she feels her passion, her self-esteem goes up. I asked her if that was the only time her self-esteem was high. She couldn’t tell me.
Self-esteem is not one of those things that come and go with an accomplishment, a win, or with passion. Self-esteem is more of a foundation upon which we build our self-image and our confidence.
We may have more confidence in one thing more than another; i.e., relationships vs. business transactions. When one gets a rush of confidence, it can be like a sugar rush. Up and down. Up and down. Up and down. When we have a success, our confidence goes up, which may then increase our self-esteem, making the foundation stronger.
Self-esteem lasts all of the time, 24 hours a day. That would be my preferred definition, and it is not always easy to make the 24 hour self-esteem a reality. It takes work.
Let’s look at what self-esteem can be:
- Feeling good about ourselves even though we make mistakes.
- Being able to communicate our wants and needs as they come up, because we know ourselves well.
- Knowing we are likable and definitely lovable.
- Knowing we can say no without feeling guilty.
- Being able to deal well in most any social situation, and if we’re not, understanding what the problem is and working to find a solution.
- Understanding that someone else’s issues are their own and not taking their remarks, actions, or behaviors personally. Sometimes easier said than done. But no one said the process would be easy.
- Realizing that we do have some emotional issues and are dealing with them as they come up. (Through self-exploration, gaining a new perspective, personal growth, etc.)
- Knowing that we are in charge of our own lives and can change what we do not like.
- Choosing to make definite and positive decisions about our feelings and our lives.
- Knowing that we can handle just about anything that life throws at us because we believe that we will be able to handle it.
These are a few ideas of what good self-esteem looks like in my book. Your ideas may be different. It is always good to discuss ideas, so please share your thoughts.
Another great place to discuss what we think about our self-esteem is at the upcoming Self-Esteem workshop at the Human Potential Center starting Wednesday, April 25th. Visit our website for more details.
Come join us to see where our ideas meet.