I’ve been feeling icky all day long. Yeah, I know, there are going to be ups and downs when training for a marathon, but I wasn’t actually expecting them this soon.
The particular kind of “ick” I was feeling today was the kind where everything seems like it’s overwhelming, that nothing is going to make it possible to accomplish anything, that the world is against me, and that no matter how hard I try, it’s not going to work. You know, your basic, “I’m stressed out and everything looks like poop” kind of mood.
I know there are reasons for these feelings, since I just spent 80 hours preparing the annual IRS nonprofit report for the Center and these feelings are usually a sign of burn-out. But knowing that there’s a reason for them didn’t make them easier to experience today.
And of course, they also made it seem like it wasn’t going to be possible to really finish the marathon. So I was beginning to agree that perhaps I have indeed gone bonkers.
There is also probably a physical component to these feelings, too. I have a really cool physician, Dr. Ted Edwards, and he told me that my testosterone is low. I’ve been taking DHEA as a supplement because it is (as I understand it) a precursor for testosterone, and it seems like it has been helping. However, I ran out of DHEA about 4 days ago, and I think I’m experiencing some of the effects from the lack of it. So I bought some more at Sun Harvest Farms, and I’m feeling better as the day goes on.
We’ll see what happens tomorrow.