We had a roofing guy redo our roof a couple of years ago. Not knowing about metal roofs, he did an inadequate job. So now we get roaches inside, especially when it is dry outside. They’re looking for water, and maybe food, if we don’t keep the place spotless clean. So, the other night, we were innocently watching TV, when Bob saw a big one flying around. Now, a flying roach is not a good sign that one’s night is going to be uneventful. Then, there was another one. And another one. And another one. In less than a minute, they were all over the place. I have this thing about dead squashed roach remains all over the floor, so we catch them in a net and throw them outside.Now, my born again sister just whacks ’em, which makes me wonder about her. But most people don’t have a thing about cleaning up dead, squashed bug guts like I do. So, Bob’s netting them and I’m opening the door so he can swish them out. There is an art to this. We’ve been doing this a long time and we are the greatest roach removal team around.
I saw one flying at me and I lifted my leg and it flew right under my leg. They were all over the outside of the screen door waiting to get back in to where the action was, and when we opened the door, another one would fly back in. At this point I was freaking.
We even put big cellophane tape on the top and bottom of the door to keep them out. I remember something being mentioned about “The Day of the Dead.”
So many! Then I realized why this was happening. They were swarming. Swarming means they were in heat or the equivalent of roach love. So, before the night, which consisted of around 30 minutes, was over, we had dealt with about 20 flying, horny bugs. I lost count at 20. What excitement! What an adrenaline rush! Talk about living on the edge.
Bob, the gentlest of souls, after 10 or 15 of the suckers, started stepping on them. This grossed us both out, but he had had enough. Try having twenty roaches flying around your head and see what happens.
By the time it was all over, a friend, who was in the other room using her computer, came in. We asked her if she had heard us yelling. “Yes”, she said, but it sounded like we were having fun, with the yells and laughter. So, she was spared the drama. Her husband donated a television yesterday. I’m thinking that was her way of saying, I’m sorry I wasn’t part of the action, thank God, but as an apology, here’s this really nice TV. And It’s OK. For us, in the long run, everything worked out. In the grand scheme of things, this seems like a strange way to get a newer TV. Well, I’ve never been known to do things the easy way, so, why start now. Right? Anyway, it’s all over now until the next time, especially if we don’t get that roof fixed.